In Memoriam

Joan Stabenau 

Written By,

 Daughter Victoria Keswick

My mom, Joan, lived in Cuyamaca Woods for eight years. She was with me on the day I discovered my CW Property. It was a cold, wet day in December 2006. I had been searching for my dream property for three years, from San Luis Obisbo and Kern Counties to the Mexican border, and everywhere between. Joan accompanied me on most of my search adventures. As I pulled up to the CW lot for sale, I was immediately drawn to it and jumped out to investigate. When I returned to the car, Joan could see that I was very excited, and she got out to walk the property with me in the cold drizzling rain. As we completed our survey of the burned-out lot, a large buck with a huge antler rack appeared in front of us out of the mist. We were in awe, and that's when I knew I was home. 

Over the years, Joan became enamored of Cuyamaca Woods as well. She would often join me on my trips to the property. On her first camp-out on the cement slab that remained from the 2003 fire, she was overwhelmed by the stars. She lay on her blow-up mattress with her binoculars looking up at the beauty long after I was asleep!  

I began caring for Joan in 2012, as her health slowly deteriorated. In 2016, my daughter Makenna finished high school and it was time to move to Julian. Joan agonized whether to come with us or not. After much deliberation, she proclaimed “one more adventure!” We sold her Carlsbad house and combined our assets to build our home on my property in Cuyamaca Woods.

Joan loved adventures. She traveled all over the world, visiting most of the United States and much of Europe. As she got older, she enlisted me to travel with her and I became her valet, traveling to the Galapagos Islands and Africa together. Her last trip was to Wisconsin in August 2023, to help our family celebrate the 100th birthday of Joan’s sister. 

Born and raised in Wisconsin, she attended college and became a teacher. Joan’s favorite book was "I Married Adventure,” by Osa Johnson. After marrying my dad, James, she began her travels with him. She lived in Washington, DC; Baltimore and Bethesda, Maryland; Rochester, New York; and Avon and Farmington, Connecticut. Joan loved the beach and in 1993, after retiring from a long elementary school teaching career, she and her partner Sam moved from Connecticut to Carlsbad, California, where they bought a home together over looking the Batiquitos Lagoon.

Joan’s Carlsbad home was the defacto gathering place for friends and all family events. My brother Erik and his family were regulars during the summer, enjoying the beach, and often the grandkids would bring several friends. Out of town guests were frequent, Joan was a gracious hostess, and her home was always open to everyone, any time. She walked daily for miles along the beach, often accompanied by friends and family. Her other favorite spot to walk was the San Diego Safari Park in Escondido. We were there so often, that I feel like my daughter was raised there!

Once settled in our CW home, Joan continued to walk every day. She loved the lake and all the hiking trails (flat ones preferred!), as well as our CW dirt roads. As the years passed, and she could no longer walk on uneven surfaces, she walked “laps” on our long deck, overlooking the bowl of Cuyamaca Woods and enjoying the wildlife around her. Eventually, Joan needed 24/7 care and she made the painful decision to move from our CW home to an assisted living facility in La Mesa. On the night she died, I returned from the city late in the evening. Shortly after I arrived home, an owl started hooting, very close by and very insistent. As I went out on the deck to investigate, the largest shooting star I’ve ever seen flew low over the deck, straight into the Big Dipper constellation. And I thought, “there she goes..."

I miss Joan terribly. Not only was she my mom, but for many, many years she was my best friend too.

Your Loving Daughter,

Victoria